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My Journey in Dating with A Kid

I’m not gonna lie to you as a non custodial parent past the age of 25 its hard as hell to date.  Not because finding a woman is hard but finding the right one is.  Women these days are more intent on building a future with a man thats all fine and dandy, but most of the time your baby mama isn’t included with said future. (side note: do you see the irony that I’m talking about Future and baby mamas)

After my break-up with my ex, I decided after a little time to myself, (see previous blog) to throw my hat back into the dating ring. It started off kinda slow, you know the let me get your number and sweet dick on the phone all night type of shit that we all know and love.  Everything seemed to be going perfect, but then I drop the bomb ” I have a lil boy”.  Then the questions would start almost in some sad dating version of Groundhog Day I’m met with …(stop me if you heard this one) “oh that’s cool does he stay with you”, “so what happened with you and your baby mama” , ” Do you pay child support”, by this time in my experiences I knew the convo would start slacking then all but cease in its entirety.

At a point and time I had gotten in touch with an old friend whom I had lost touch with.  It was almost nostalgic in how compatible we were, almost splitting images of each other’s traits.  After awhile I invited her to the zoo with me and my son she politely declined stating she had prior engagements with her family which I totally understood. A few weeks had  passed and I invited her over to watch a movie with us.   She came over and met my son who at the time was about 2 and they seemed to get along just fine.  So Im thinking OK this is gonna work out … HA!!! (Alf voice) if that thought wasn’t the grandaddy of all liars, I asked her if she was down to go to Dave & Busters with us and she was down (bet). The day came I called her no answer, text, no reply…. yeah that’s right people ya boy got stood up.  She ended up returning my call the next day to which she told me she was sleep.  Now I’ve been a dude for the better part of 27 years by then and I was genuinely insulted by the lack of creativity with this chocolate covered bullshit which was presented as a 3 musketeer candy bar.  I asked her what was up on making this official between then she hit me with the Louisville Slugger, “I don’t date guys with kids” ……. (insert dramatic pause here).

I was done with all dating after this, fuck trying after all when you try u fail, or so I thought.  There’s a saying “what you’re looking for is right in front of you”,  no shit people its true.  I started talking to my coworker who was no way my type by any means.   Hell we’d worked for years together and I never even seen her, little did I know she was what I’ve been looking for this whole time.  She bought my kid more Christmas gifts than me, they talk, play, and learn together.  My kid calls her his girlfriend and even though I might get jealous, I can’t appreciate her enough for being in our lives.

I can’t stress this enough to people who are looking for a relationship with kids.  When seeking a relationship make sure you find a significant other that not only loves you, but your children as well. I was looking for all the things that I wanted and not the things that I needed for me and my family.  It’s not about just you anymore it’s a forever good decision for the group.  I could be out here getting these hoes as one of my handicapped DJ friends would say, but I have to teach my son how to respect a good woman (singular) after all, kids are an extension of you and your experiences.